*BITS & PIECES FROM ALIVE 07*

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FESTIVAL 2007

Seems like it's been forever since I've last posted, but I took a short, much needed vacation and since my kids are with their dad until this coming Friday...this post will explain my absenteeism. (that sounds so not like a word, but it didn't fall under the spell check, lol) Wow! That is a word that I used quite often this past week! I went to my first ever ALIVE Festival! It was not only the first time to hear and see so many wonderful speakers, singers, talent and true worship... but it was a first for me to go camping. OK, don't start laughing! LOL I just have never been camping in my entire life and I will have to say that I really enjoyed it!!! There was so many bands that I have only heard the names of and I was so impressed with them after it was their time to shine, that I left ALIVE feeing just that... ALIVE!!! I can really say that I believe Chris Tomlin writes his songs from daily having a personal relationship with God! He blew me away with his heart for worship and his sincere desire to lead others to Christ! Another group that I felt was truly sincere was a very young group called Leeland. This is a group that I had heard a lot about, but I had never knew or didn't think that I knew any of their music. I guess I knew one, just never connected the song with the band. Anyways, the lead singer is another that has a heart for the unchurched and lost! He told of the opportunity he had to share the gospel with a much older man (in his 50's or 60's) that eventually came to know Christ, and Leeland said that he never dreamed that a 19 year old would have that impact on a much older man, but it proves that Jesus can work wonders through us no matter what the age may be, as long as we are the willing vessels! His testimony is fabulous and he is only 19... I cannot wait for more to come from this young worship group! Barlow Girl's testimony was absolutely sensational... their heart for reaching out to young girls (and older) teaching the importance of modesty and that purity is worth the wait and it's okay not to date since God already has someone out there for everyone, we just need to let it be in God's time and up to Him when it happens. There was just so many awesome groups and speakers that I could of sat for hours and listened to. Speakers that I would recommend were Crystal Miller (survivor from the Columbine shootings), David Nassar (former Middle East resident with a WOW! testimony) and James Ryle ( former prison inmate). I know there were a lot more, these are just a few that stood out to me.

I apologize for this messed up blog, but I just cannot figure out how to stack the pics and post beside it so that it don't take up so much wasted space... it just wouldn't work for me no matter what way I tried to align it. I guess I need to take some lessons in computers? Anyways, this is what has been happening in my neck of the woods, let me know about yours! God Bless! Leslie

*HEAVY HEART*

In the past 2 days I have found myself very overwhelmed and emotional! I just haven't been able to bring myself to post for the past few days because rather than say a lot of things that may or may not make sense, I've also not been able to put into words what I want to say. (sometimes this ADD thing can be so annoying)

My kids left today for a 2 week vacation with their Dad and I will get to see them since they will also be at the Alive concert that I am attending for my very first time. I have never been away from my kids for that length of time and I guess that would have to play a part in my saddened state of mind. (Except for Kyle when my dad took him down south with him)

Most of you probably already know that my Dad is in his final days of life after battling cancer since 2000. I did get to talk to him yesterday and he sounded better than he had a few days before that... but I guess I know that it won't be much longer, and even though I know, somehow it hadn't registered till yesterday about how soon that I will be getting that phone call that no one wants to hear! My Mom belongs to a website that allows family and friends to stay in contact during a real crucial time in someone's life. The name of the site is www.caringbridge.com It has helped keep our family and friends updated on what has been going on. I sat down tonight with a heavy heart and started to check my email and found that my mom had updated with a new post. Mom wrote that her and Dad are requesting our prayers because Dad is showing more signs and symptoms of going home to Heaven. She also says that in the past week he is steadily loosing strength and weight, has no appetite and there has been a major decline in his health. He can no longer tinker with his hobbies- tractors. Moms work has allowed her to work from home and have supplied her with the means to do so because Dad isn't well enough to be left alone.

The questions that I keep asking God is how? How do you I find comfort in times of great overwhelming sadness and grief? Why do people that we love and care about have to leave? Why did this have to happen to my Dad or anyones Dad or loved one? I guess that we will never know that answer. I keep reliving my childhood and I find myself being taken back for some unknown reason... asking myself if I was a daughter that he was proud of? Does this happen with everyone in this situation? I keep feeling waves of regrets... about how I should of done this or that a little more, and I guess that is where I am taking a beating at the present time. I'm also feeling guilty because I wanted to fly down with my sisters to spend time with him, but the tickets are outrageous and I just don't have that kind of cash! Even though I tell my Dad that I love him, I really do and I pray that he never had to question the depth of my love or how I looked up to him! I pray that he knew I did! I will say that the devil does see this as a weak moment in these times of our life and he is so ever ready to pounce on us when we are at our lowest.


My prayer tonight is that you will remember my Dad in his final days of life and that somehow he will feel the arms of Jesus and his pain will be tolerable... and for the rest of the family and my mom that she will find strength in God as well until we are all able to get down to Florida to be with her.
I Love You Dad!

*A BIT OF HAPPY REMINISCING*

As I sat here this evening knowing what I wanted to blog about, the words just weren't coming to me that easy. So I started thinking about my kids and how they're growing up so fast and that sometimes they just know where, when and how to embarrass us when we least expect it! While I'm sitting here thinking, I am reminded of something that my daughter Katie now 8, so innocently said to me after bringing me a paper from her backpack. (was in kindergarten I believe) She said, Mama, I have a paper for you, will you read it? I said sure sweetie... so I sat down and I started reading it to myself like I usually do to know what I was reading before I would read something out loud to my kids. Well all of a sudden she kept putting her head/ear really close to me and I could hear her getting a little more agitated with each time she did this over again. Finally after about 5-7 times of her repeating this I said Katie, what in the world are you doing? Please let me finish reading this paper that you wanted me to read and then I'll give you some attention. And she said, well Mama I wanted you to read it to me and since you were reading it to yourself I was trying to see if I could listen to inside your head so I could hear what your head is saying about my paper. LOL That was all I needed for that day! I never would of thought that she would say that.... but it's true they will say the darnedest things when you least expect it. They may be ornery, tucker us out, and make us go gray, but I wouldn't want them any other way! I love to reminisce on the past experiences and events with my kids and when they also remember it, it makes it that much more memorable! It's fun to watch them grow up and develope into their own individual person, but it is also hard knowing that they don't stay little long. Gotta Love Em!!!

*HOW CLEARLY DO WE SEE?*

We were sitting in the doctors office waiting my my step-dad to finish and Kristofer and I were taking a few pictures of his eyes so that I could share and keep you updated. It will be 3 weeks Thursday since his second surgery, they don't bother him anymore but they still look pretty bad. Only time will tell if they will actually start working together for the first time. (It's in God's Hands) He keeps asking me why God had to give him eyes that don't work and that God must not like him since he gave him broken eyes. He doesn't always comprehend why or the answers I've tried to explain to him, so I told him that many people have things with their bodies that don't work the way they should for them and they matter to Jesus just as much as the people that were born with nothing wrong. I told him that Jesus loves him just the way he is no matter if his eyes work or not. This world can be so cruel and especially to how our children understand it to be. We will never quite measure up in the eyes of others. I guess there's been times in my own personal life I have felt that I fell short of deserving God's love or even acceptance from others...until I came to understand, that when I focused on what mattered most, I was able to clearly see that Jesus Loves me just the way I am and no matter if I trip and fall short, do wrong or how inadequate I might feel at times... He wouldn't love me any less! I pray that I measure up when God is adding up my score! Blessings To All!

*EVER HAVE ONE OF THESE DAYS*

Is this ever how some of you other moms out there think you might look or feel at times? Believe me, I sometimes can identify!!! Scary sight I know... and it also gives a whole new meaning to "having a bad hair day"! (I wonder why, LOL) I was thinking over todays events and it's funny because not only am I too young to be this forgetful, but I actually am having the hardest time remembering anything about it. So I came downstairs to clean my computer room, check emails, try to free up some space on my computer, (just might need to free up some space in my mind?) and do some browsing then I remembered I haven't posted a blog since Saturday. Well anyways before I remembered that I hadn't blogged in a couple days, I came across tons of pictures on my computer I didn't even know I had. Have any of you ever found something that you didn't know you had or was lost? (I love finding money in an old coat pocket or purse that was switched to match a different outfit) How they got saved there is beyond me and some have been on there according to the date, for 2 years. Now since I had a hard time remembering what I did today, (after sitting here a bit, I finally remembered) how fast paced it was and still trying to get ready for a big yard sale...I came across this picture and it kind of sums up how I felt today and how I know I must have looked last Friday when Kris was having his "Moments". Anyways, this pic did give me a few laughs and gave me a mental picture of myself that I really wouldn't want anyone or myself to ever see. LOL Now I'm off to try to catch some much needed ZZZZZ's Blessings to all!
P.S. Thanks to all for taking the time to read my blogs, I enjoy reading others as well ... this is a lot of fun and it's another relaxing downtime for me!

*DINNER AND A MOVIE*

Ok, so I have been thinking for the past several weeks now that when my kids are with their dad on the weekends, I should do something for myself... well at least once in awhile! (I miss them and I'm usually at home every weekend their gone) After weeks of trying to figure out what to do, I finally decided that ever since I saw "Wild Hogs" was first advertised I have wanted to see it and I finally decided to "just do it." So my mom asked me to come over for dinner (yes it was my mom I had my date with,"if you will") and then off to the Quaker we went. Aside from the sexual comments and cursing, it was a pretty funny flick, with a lot of funny happenings. My kids have been wanting to see it too and I am glad I didn't take them because I think it had too much adult content for them. Sometimes I wish they would just make movies without foul language in it at all. The night Tim Hawkins came to NewPointe, we were doubled over with laughter... and he brought good clean materials to share. Thanks Tim! I can't wait till he comes back! I just wish that we could have more movies with little or no inappropriate content. Katie has been wanting to see the movie about a mouse that starts with the letter R... I can say it, just can't remember how to spell it. LOL Tomorrow Kyle comes home from Church Camp and I pick the other two up from their dads. And then we start it all over again come Monday morning. :-) I am still trying to get ready for my much overdue yard sale...I might have more gray hairs, but it would be over with and who's counting anyways? LOL Not much else happening in my neck of the wood, what about yours? Blessings, Leslie

*MAKING SOME CHANGES*

Just a real quick update. I have changed the name of my blog. It is now MUSIC FROM THE HEART.. it was SINGING LIKE NOBODY'S LISTENING. I had some time to work with it and now I just need to get it designed... which might take like forever! Anyways, I hope you all have a gr8 weekend! Blessings, Leslie :-)