*EVER HAVE ONE OF THESE DAYS*

Is this ever how some of you other moms out there think you might look or feel at times? Believe me, I sometimes can identify!!! Scary sight I know... and it also gives a whole new meaning to "having a bad hair day"! (I wonder why, LOL) I was thinking over todays events and it's funny because not only am I too young to be this forgetful, but I actually am having the hardest time remembering anything about it. So I came downstairs to clean my computer room, check emails, try to free up some space on my computer, (just might need to free up some space in my mind?) and do some browsing then I remembered I haven't posted a blog since Saturday. Well anyways before I remembered that I hadn't blogged in a couple days, I came across tons of pictures on my computer I didn't even know I had. Have any of you ever found something that you didn't know you had or was lost? (I love finding money in an old coat pocket or purse that was switched to match a different outfit) How they got saved there is beyond me and some have been on there according to the date, for 2 years. Now since I had a hard time remembering what I did today, (after sitting here a bit, I finally remembered) how fast paced it was and still trying to get ready for a big yard sale...I came across this picture and it kind of sums up how I felt today and how I know I must have looked last Friday when Kris was having his "Moments". Anyways, this pic did give me a few laughs and gave me a mental picture of myself that I really wouldn't want anyone or myself to ever see. LOL Now I'm off to try to catch some much needed ZZZZZ's Blessings to all!
P.S. Thanks to all for taking the time to read my blogs, I enjoy reading others as well ... this is a lot of fun and it's another relaxing downtime for me!

*DINNER AND A MOVIE*

Ok, so I have been thinking for the past several weeks now that when my kids are with their dad on the weekends, I should do something for myself... well at least once in awhile! (I miss them and I'm usually at home every weekend their gone) After weeks of trying to figure out what to do, I finally decided that ever since I saw "Wild Hogs" was first advertised I have wanted to see it and I finally decided to "just do it." So my mom asked me to come over for dinner (yes it was my mom I had my date with,"if you will") and then off to the Quaker we went. Aside from the sexual comments and cursing, it was a pretty funny flick, with a lot of funny happenings. My kids have been wanting to see it too and I am glad I didn't take them because I think it had too much adult content for them. Sometimes I wish they would just make movies without foul language in it at all. The night Tim Hawkins came to NewPointe, we were doubled over with laughter... and he brought good clean materials to share. Thanks Tim! I can't wait till he comes back! I just wish that we could have more movies with little or no inappropriate content. Katie has been wanting to see the movie about a mouse that starts with the letter R... I can say it, just can't remember how to spell it. LOL Tomorrow Kyle comes home from Church Camp and I pick the other two up from their dads. And then we start it all over again come Monday morning. :-) I am still trying to get ready for my much overdue yard sale...I might have more gray hairs, but it would be over with and who's counting anyways? LOL Not much else happening in my neck of the wood, what about yours? Blessings, Leslie

*MAKING SOME CHANGES*

Just a real quick update. I have changed the name of my blog. It is now MUSIC FROM THE HEART.. it was SINGING LIKE NOBODY'S LISTENING. I had some time to work with it and now I just need to get it designed... which might take like forever! Anyways, I hope you all have a gr8 weekend! Blessings, Leslie :-)

*THANK GOODNESS IT'S FRIDAY*

Wow! Today started off rather fast and I found myself racing to beat the clock to 9am. Kyle was pumped up and ready to go to youth camp with the rest of the Army Of One campers. I was wanting to be there a little before 9 but that being on time thingy , doesn't that only happens in the world of make believe or dreams? LOL Well come to find out the arrival time was 9:30 and takeoff was at 10, all of a sudden I found myself being able to breathe, or at least breathe a little easier... until I am reminded that I have Kris and Katie with me. Being that Kris has Autism/Asperger's Syndrome/PDD/ADHD/ODD, (PDD is also another form of Autism) I thought just maybe that he would be alright until I got to see Kyle leave for camp. NOT SO! It completely sent him into a tail spin, he was totally out of his element and I am almost sure that everyone there most likely noticed it. There are so many different forms of Autism and Kris happens to have the high functioning form. He is verbal and does speak clearly, but sometimes he says things just because he has heard them before but he has no idea what he's said. Also his Perceptual Language has always been a problem. (what you say to him is so often not comprehended and what he says doesn't always make sense) He has difficulty expressing himself appropriately and gets upset when misunderstood! He has always lacked social, emotional, self help and behavior skills. People aren't always understanding to him and they think that he is a really bad boy. (and yes I have been told that) I have been told to keep my child on a leash or in a cage to teach him right and wrong. At first it was so hard to take the stares, whispers and rude comments, but I soon came to figure out that it was because people were uneducated and the negativity was their way of" if you will"- dealing with it. Over the past 9 years through all the poems and songs I have penned, it has always been difficult for me to put into words this child of mine that I see everyday struggle so hard to just fit in and be accepted. A few months back the words that I have wanted to say for years just came to me from out of the blue. I have titled this poem "MY SPECIAL GIFT"

Let me tell you of my son named Kristofer,
he has 1 big brother and 1 little sister.
He was born a very healthy baby boy,
the first time I held him I felt such joy!
Something went wrong when he was two,
sometimes I was confused at what to do.
Many times his eyes just held blank stares,
I wondered if he was really even there.
He was often off in a world all of his own,
I was so clueless as to what was wrong.
The world where we live is so big and bright
but his world exist of only black and white.
At times he can't say what's on his mind,
searches for the words,yet he cannot find.
We have some good days but they are so few,
I'd get overwhelmed not knowing what to do.
There's so many things he just wants to say,
but I know that his words just get in the way.
I see the very bright little boy that I have,
as so misunderstood and even called bad.
In his own time-I might get a kiss or hug,
it's difficult for him to know and accept love.
Almost everywhere we go we do find,
that people can be so cruel and unkind.
The careless whispers and pointing fingers,
leave painful memories that always linger.
I'm used to all the comments and stares,
since they seem to follow us everywhere.
He's always left out when it's time to play,
he asks me-"why do I have to be this way,
please Mama, can you make this all go away,
I don't want to be Autistic anymore and just
please turn me back to the way I was before"?
Sometimes I really want to take his place,
I try to hold him and make him feel safe.
Although he don't think like we all do,
he's a real person with real feeling too.
I believe a cure will be found here one day,
until then I'll be thankful, trust and pray.
You see I love my son that many think is odd,
he is my special gift sent to me from God.

Written By: Leslie Holloway
March 21, 2007

P.S. I apologize for the long blog... Blessings To All! Leslie

*YA THINK SUMMER'S FINALLY HERE*

The 3 main reasons why I get
up every day! (They are worth it!)




Katie

Kyle

Kris

This trampoline was one of the best investments that I made last summer. They've even tried to sleep out on it, imagine that? We've laid out and watched the stars at night... one move and we all slid to the center. It was
a crazy idea, but we had fun!



I can't believe how fast this school year went. I mean where did the time go? I also keep asking myself if I got everything accomplished that I wanted to during the school year... and I guess NO would be the correct answer! (it didn't take me long to figure that one out) So last Friday I thought- well I am going to let the kids have 1 week of sleeping in till about 9am, (I was really thinking for me at that moment) :-) but sleeping in for my kids is well- not sleeping in at all (7a-8a- if I'm the least bit lucky) so very early in this thinking process that idea got put aside, but I still had high hopes... if you know what I mean? Then to top it all off Kyle, who is now officially a "Freshmen" told me last Friday of all days especially after I had already thought, and I mean just thought- came to me and said, "Oh by the way mom, I start marching band bright and early Monday morning from 8-12... and it is JUST for 1 week and then we will start back up again the end of July. I think that the look on my face must of been priceless, because priceless is just the look he gave me after he finished telling me his "good news" and then my moment of silence that followed. He just couldn't wait till he was able to start marching band. He has talked about it since the 5th grade when he started playing trombone. And yes I felt guilty for just thinking about sleeping in when he was so excited about something he's anticipated for 4 years for to finally arrive. I love U Kyle (if he would see this before I posted it, he'd for sure try to persuade against it) I will post pics with him in his uniform at a later time. I guess I'd better update on Kris and Katie as well. Kristofer is now a 5th grader. It has been 2 weeks today since his corrective eye surgery for Strabismus. (A visual defect in which one eye cannot focus with the other eye on an object because of imbalance of the eye muscles- American Heritage Dictionary.) The surgery went well and the Doc says it will take awhile to fully heal. He isn't in any kind of pain, but it isn't pleasant to look at and you might think otherwise. He will be going back to Camp Nuhop for his 5th summer. (Nuhop Camp for experimental learning and developmental disabilities www.campnuhop.org) I believe he will also be going to Summer camp with the church. As for Katie, she is now a 3rd grader. She is doing better with her Asthma. She just really has to be monitored since she is still learning how to cope and with the warning signs. She too will be going to Summer camp with the church. We are going to try to take a couple road trips to Ronoake Virginia to see my brother and his family and get the cousins together and I would like to go back to Indiana to see one of my old girlfriends. But I really need to finish organizing for my yard sale that I need to have no later than June 28-30. Well in closing I might add that through the hustle of our busy life we have a lot to be thankful for. And I thank God for the 3 children He has entrusted me with and that He allows me to get up each day and choose to serve Him and teach my kids the importance of being a follower of Christ. Have a great day and Blessings to all! Leslie :-)

*Something To Really Think About*

When I stop and really think about the number of people in this world today that suffer daily from depression or feeling inadequate... the statistics are alarming! There has been times in everyones life where we don't feel that were good enough, we don't add up or we give up even before trying. There really are people out there that don't love or care about us, make us feel like we don't add up, or that we will never be good enough. Maybe somewhere in their life there was no one that loved them or tried to make a difference! The world can never give to us what Our Heavenly Father has already given us when He offered up His only Son Jesus! Love! Peace! Freedom! We are human and we do have feelings that get hurt once in awhile, but how we choose to let the ones that hurt us affect our lives is what really matters. I believe that God felt pain when Jesus died to take away any kind of sin or pain we might have. I've personally dwelt with so many different levels of pain in my life that you would think that I could be numb to any kind of feelings. WRONG! The truth is that even though it hurts and at times when I want to throw in the towel and don't want to try something over again... what I decide to do will either make or break me, and I don't have to decide it alone! I am glad that even though I personally have felt great waves of pain my entire life, I believe that God has used it in some way to shape me to who I am today. Sometimes I don't understand how and I don't want to admit at the time that this is part of life, but as time passes I can say that I totally get how and why it happened! God says that He will not put more on us than we can handle and I believe that He knows we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for, otherwise He wouldn't allow us to face the difficult times. I want Him to mold and make me so that my lifesong will sing for Him even if the during my journey I do get a little "broken" up. It makes me think about a line in the song "Better"... but in the end- what leaves you broken- in the end - makes you better! I pray that in the times of my life that I am broken, it will make me better for the cause of Christ! Let's try to make a difference in the life of someone in need!

*What is Rest?*

Okay, so just when I think that I might be on a roll and I think I'm ready to start pricing things for this long anticipated yard sale, I am all to soon brought back to reality and faced with the fact that I am only really just about a 1/4 of the way through all of the things that I thought there was to price or sort through. I just want to take it all and load it up and head off to the local dump or even better yet out to my aunt and uncles and pile it high and then set it ablaze... and if I weren't too awful tired to forget the hotdogs, roasting sticks, buns, condiments and all the other fixin's, we might have us a good old weinee roast! But I can't see that happening anytime soon. Oh well, I am definatly not going to get it done overnight and the next night don't look promising either! So I will just have to be patient and get done what I can.... only so many hours in one day, this was soposed to be done last summer and before I knew it time had gotten away with me yet again. I am gonna stop stressing about it and do what I can... and get some much needed ZZZZZZ's, which sounds like a plan to me! I know that my body and mind might thank me for if I would just let it happen. I want to make sure that my heart and mind is open and rested enough for when God speaks to me and in alone time with Him so with His help I am able to do whatever He has for me to do that day. Tomorrow is another day, I think I will price more then. :-)